


Trapped

by BeMyDarkling



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-11 10:51:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8976703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeMyDarkling/pseuds/BeMyDarkling
Summary: Rey and Kylo get trapped on a shuttle in the middle of deep space. Inspired by ChroniclyFlaming's "Revanche"





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PalenDrome (nerdherderette)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdherderette/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Revanche](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2245791) by [ChroniclyFlaming](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChroniclyFlaming/pseuds/ChroniclyFlaming). 



Rey fell to her knees in exhaustion and glanced across the shuttle at her prisoner. Kylo Ren looked like nothing more than a pile of black rags heaped in a corner. Rey checked the neural collar around his neck for the hundredth time. He was still unconscious, but just to be on the safe side, she shackled his wrist to the durasteel siding on the wall of the shuttle. When she was satisfied that he was secure, she sat back and closed her eyes.

The assault on the  _ Finalizer _ had gone remarkably well. It may have been a little messy,  _ Ok more than a little,  _ she thought to herself. Finn had led a small group of Resistance fighters on board through the sanitations systems on a mission to retrieve the locations of all the Stormtrooper indoctrination centers, especially those that housed very young children recently stolen from their families. The rebels had been discovered and a firefight broke out, but not before they had acquired the information and, Rey glanced over at the heap of black cloth, a fairly valuable prize. While Finn and the others escaped, Rey had been left behind. She ran onto an Upsilon class shuttle and things got complicated.

 

This was not how she planned this.

 

Ren had taken a few blaster bolts meant for her, and she had saved him. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

The shuttle had sustained massive damage while pulling out of the hangar but as long as it worked, she didn’t care.

Rey glanced over at her prisoner. She had removed his mask to make sure he was still breathing. His face was almost peaceful in sleep.

A screeching siren pierced the silence and the ship lurched clumsily out of lightspeed.

_ “ _ That can’t be good,” Rey muttered.

\--

Hours later, Kylo sat up groggily. He tried to lift a hand to his head but found himself restrained, with shackles on his wrists connected by a short chain to the wall. He yanked at them angrily, unable to lift his hands past his chest. It was then that he felt the collar.

Rey came running into the room at the sound of his thrashing. She watched silently as he strained against his bonds.

“Release me,” he demanded, “Get me out of this, right now.”

“No,” Rey replied lightly.

“How could you? A neural collar?” he raged.“Why not just kill me?”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Don’t be such a drama queen. It was necessary.”

“I can’t feel the Force.”

“That’s the point.”

His thrashing had reopened a wound on his shoulder and blood was trickling onto the floor.

Rey instinctively put her hands on his shoulders to still him. “You’re hurt. Don’t make it worse.” She tore the remains of his shirt loose and dabbed at the blood. When she glanced up at him, he was studying her.

Kylo averted his eyes. “Where is my mask?”

“I put it away.”

“Give it back.”

“Why? You don’t want me looking at your face?”

“Where are you taking me?”

“Well-” she took a deep breath. “The ship has been damaged. We lost hyperspace capabilities.”

“Where are we?”

“I have no idea. Somewhere between Ryloth and Hypori, I think.”

“We’re stranded?”

“I’ve managed to send out a distress signal. We just need to wait for someone to rescue us. It shouldn’t take long. Finn will be looking for me.”

“We’re stranded in the middle of nowhere. We’re going to die.”

“We are not. Your shuttle is very well stocked and the water reclamation system works fine. It’s actually pretty luxurious compared to what I’m used to.”

“How long?”

“Until what?”

“Until we starve to death?”

“We won’t. We have enough food for over a month, more if we’re careful.”

Kylo let his head fall back against the wall with a thud. “I’d rather you just kill me now.”

 

Day 1:

Rey set about creating a routine. She tidied the ship, evaluated the necessary repairs to the hyperdrive, spent some time meditating and doing forms. She liked structure; it made her feel a little less helpless. She had managed to take down one of the most dangerous people in the galaxy, and all she had to do was survive this little hindrance. Either way, the galaxy was a safer place. Rey divided out the portions carefully, silently shoving a dish at Ren during meal times.

He spoke little after that first conversation, merely taking what she offered him and watching her cautiously.

 

Day 2:

Kylo had never been more aware of his own helplessness, and the accompanying rage threatened to overwhelm him. He watched the slim slip of a girl go about her routine, internally  hating every move she made. What was the kriffing point of organizing the ship if in the end it was nothing but a tomb? They were most likely going to die there, yet she still refused to release him.

_ How would she like it? _ He fumed.  _ How would she feel chained to the wall with a collar around her neck, completely at my mercy? _ The mental image was rather pleasing. He imagined the things he would do to her. Torture her, probably, until her screams echoed throughout the ship. The image shifted out of his control and suddenly she was naked and those screams were no longer filled with agony. . .

Kylo shook his head so violently he bashed it against the wall. He hated her. She was infuriating. From the stupid, orderly way she kept the supplies, to the look on her face when she lost herself in her work. The way she bit her lip when she was trying to concentrate. . .

Hatred. Complete hatred.

Ren had to admit her self-discipline was admirable. Imagine what she could do if she was freed from her Jedi misconceptions. He tried not to savor the thought of her in black robes. None of the other Knights would be any match for her. Then, with her fully under his authority, would he allow himself to think of his lingering attraction to her?

Kylo imagined what it would be like, in another life, if he were to openly pursue her romantically. He almost smiled at the absurd image of bringing her flowers, like in the holodramas. He imagined her horror as the realization dawned on her that he was interested in her in THAT way. Gifts thrown back in his face. Perhaps a few slaps too. Wounds. Rejection.

Either way, lover or padawan, she would never be his.

No, she was not one he could bend to his will. It would be fun to try though, to chain her up and lecture her on the merits of the dark side until she begged him to stop. He imagined her on her knees, begging. He would whisper, “Not until you call me Master.” She would look up at him, her full lips parted, a small gasp escaping her as she struggled not to give in.

Kylo ground his nails into his palms. He had to get these wayward thoughts under control.

 

 

Day 3:

“You’re doing it wrong.”

Rey looked up startled. “What?”

“The tea. You’ve been brewing it wrong.”

“I’m sorry, why do you care?”

“That’s Oolong from Neimoidia. You scorch it every time you brew it with boiling water. And you leave it in too long.”

Rey sipped the bitter tea. “That’s nice.”

“I just don’t like to see you ruining perfectly good Oolong,” he said angrily.

Rey took another slow, deliberate sip and merely hummed.

 

Day 4:

The self-imposed routine was the only thing keeping her sane, but Rey was more than used to that. She wasn’t, however, used to having someone else in her space. Back on Jakku, she lived in her own little world, lost in her thoughts for days on end, able to talk to herself or to the machines she was tinkering with without worrying about who was there to judge her.

And Kylo Ren was a judgmental bastard.

Everywhere she went on the shuttle, he watched her every move and judged her, sometimes silently, sometimes not. First it was the stupid tea, then he started correcting her forms. It came to the point where Rey wanted to hide in the tiny ‘fresher, just to avoid him. But even then, she could still feel him. His end of the bond may have been shut down by the neural collar, but she could still sense him.

Was it really the best idea, sparing him? Most members of the Resistance would probably have shot him on sight. For General Organa’s sake, Rey couldn’t bring herself to do it. He was Leia’s son, and Han’s. She could see it in his profile. Sometimes she studied his face while he was sleeping, seeing the blood of the smuggler and the princess so clearly in his features. How did he come to this? This dark and unstable raw power? He was powerful, undeniably. Rey could feel it through the bond. Sometimes it overwhelmed her and she shivered at the sensation, like electricity, adrenaline, and heat.

But here, with him chained and at her mercy, she could no longer dismiss him as a monster. Whatever he was, he was human, and male, as his occasional heated glances reminded her. It stirred something in her, something foreign and forbidden, something she would rather not think about. 


	2. Chapter two

Day 9:

Rey slowly combed through the hyperdrive system, trying to find the source of the problem. The shuttle was delicate, and the process had taken a lot longer than she had anticipated. She was so engrossed in her task, she almost jumped when Kylo spoke.

“I can help, you know.”

She glanced at him. He actually looked sincere. “How?”

“I’m fairly familiar with finicky hyperdrives. Let me take a look.”

Rey sighed. “Not the best idea.”

“I promise I won’t harm you.”

“ _ Sure _ .”

“Just release me then.”

“No,” she said stubbornly.

Ren sought her eyes and his voice was soft, pleading. “Please.”

Rey looked away.

Kylo strained at his bonds and she could see the panic threatening to overtake him. “Let me go!”

She shook her head silently.

He kicked and strained as his panic spiraled. “Please!” he screamed, his voice rising to a fever pitch, “I can’t- We’re going to die here, just-“ He broke off, thrashing violently.

 

Rey didn’t know what to do so she hid in the ‘fresher. The thin door did little to muffle his screams of rage and panic.

 

When she returned, he had finally fallen silent. His wrists were smeared with red and there was blood dripping from a cut on his lip.

He didn’t look at her for the rest of the day.

  
  


Day 10:

 

They had been trapped for what seemed like an eternity. Kylo had always preferred to keep busy, keep moving, keep fighting the creeping despair that always lingered in the back of his mind. Here, he was trapped with nothing to alleviate the monotony. Except, of course,  _ her _ . At least Rey could get up and move around, find things that could keep her mind occupied. Kylo had nothing.

Except her.

She’d never be interested in him, never look at him with anything but contempt, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t pull some kind of reaction out of her. An annoyed glance was better than never acknowledging his presence at all.

She was stretching now, as she normally did before practicing her forms. Kylo hummed appreciatively and she glanced up with a sense of surprise, as if she had forgotten he was there. The look sent a pang through Ren’s chest and he tried his best to ignore it.

“Oh, please don’t stop on my account,” he purred. “I was quite enjoying the view.”

Rey’s cheeks turned red. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

“Oh come on, has Luke really turned you into such a good little Jedi? Are you not allowed to think those thoughts? Was there no handsome Resistance pilot to pull you into his x-wing and unleash your passions?”

“You’re just trying to get under my skin.”

“Of course I am, Cyar’ika, what else do I have to do to pass the time?”

“What about you Ren, you ever kriffed one of your Knights?”

“Maker! You have no sense of subtlety.”

“And you have a dirty mind.”

“I’m not the one thinking about sex with a masked warrior. If the mask turns you on that much, I can put it back on.”

Rey set about making herself a cup of tea. He counted the slight tremor of her hands as a victory.

“Is it really so outrageous a suggestion though? We’re both adults, we’ve nothing else to do...”

“Switch off, Kylo.”

“How long do you think it will take? Maybe another week of isolation and starvation? I’ll give it another five days, and you’ll be begging me to ravage you.”

“Ravage me? In case you haven’t noticed, you’re chained to the wall.”

He grinned. “Kinky, but I’m up for it. I thought you might be into that sort of thing when I had you strapped to that interrogation table.”

She slapped him then, hard.

He gasped, “Please tell me that was foreplay.”

She locked herself in the fresher and didn’t come out for the rest of the day.

 

Day 11:

Rey hated being caged. Whatever life she had before, at least it had been on her own schedule. She had been beholden to Plutt, but she worked and went to the outpost when she wanted. Her time with the Resistance had worn on her, coming and going and even eating when dictated. This, trapped in a shuttle with nowhere else to go, was driving her insane.

Rey had dusted, tidied and scrubbed the entire shuttle. There was only one mess left. Him. With his hands in binders, he couldn’t attend to his personal grooming very well. He was going to need help.

_ This is not that big of a deal _ , she told herself.  _ It’s a simple kindness. Something every good person should be willing to do _ . She even managed to warm up the water, and presented it to him with some soap and a washcloth. 

“What’s this?” he asked.

Rey rolled her eyes. “It’s fairly self-explanatory.”

Kylo gestured with his manacled hands. “I can’t exactly do much with that.”

“Then I’ll help.”

“You want to bathe me?”

Rey could feel a crude comment coming, so she spoke first. “Do you miss your mother, Ben?”

He clamped his mouth shut at that. A small thrill of triumph filled her. He had gotten under her skin yesterday, now it was her turn.

“She still cries for your father. She never lets anyone see, but I can tell.”

He was silent as she gently sponged the dried blood off his wrists. Several moments passed, and when he finally spoke he surprised her with his gentleness.

“Did you ever find them? Your family?”

“I—” she faltered. “No.”

“I’m sorry.”

Rey scrubbed at his skin a little harder. This wasn’t right. He was supposed to be a total jerk, leering, hostile. She didn’t know how to handle this person in front of her. Why couldn’t he just be the monster? Monsters were easy. Monsters didn’t make you feel empathy or compassion. Monsters didn’t make you doubt everything you thought you knew, didn’t make your hands shake or your lungs constrict. He was a monster.

And yet...

“I would have helped you find them, if you had stayed.”

He stilled her busy hands and explored her palm with his fingertips. Rey shuddered but didn’t pull away.

“I’m not sure,” he went on, “but I think your grandfather trained mine. It wouldn’t be hard to track down your parents, or at least their identities. I’m surprised the General hasn’t already.”

Rey felt herself tearing up. He was not allowed to make her feel like this. “Why did you kill your father?”

Ren clenched his jaw. “That was a mistake.”

“That’s it?” she said, angrily. “A mistake? You murdered your own father and it’s just a  _ mistake _ ?

“What do you want me to say? That I’m a murderer? That I deserve to die? Should I beg you to bring me to justice?” He reached for her again and sought her eyes. “Kill me.”

Rey tried to pull away but he held her tight. “Kill me,” he pleaded. “Use my lightsaber if you want. I won’t fight it.”

She wrenched herself away and retreated to the far wall of the shuttle.

“Are you going to do it?” he demanded.

“No.”

“Then don’t bring it up again.”

The silence grew tense.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally. “You were trying to do something nice.”

“Yes, I was,” Rey muttered as she picked up the washcloth and resumed her task.

“Besides,” he grinned, “I like having your hands on me.”

She ignored his comment and kept scrubbing.

“And if you like, I can show you how to be  _ really _ nice.”

It was a waste of water, but dumping the bucket over his head was worth it.

 

Day 15:

Rey was elbow deep in a mass of wires. The chain tethering Kylo to the wall allowed him just enough room to stand and watch.

“When you boarded the Finalizer, what did you hope to accomplish?”

“Hmm?” Rey said, her mind on the task in front of her.

“Did you actually plan to get trapped in the middle of nowhere and slowly starve to death with your sworn enemy, or was that just a bonus?”

“We’re not going to die, calm down.”

“You’re just going to build a new hyperdrive entirely out of willpower, is that it?”

“I told you, I’m salvaging parts from the secondary systems. Besides, I sent out a distress call.”

“Oh, of course. So whoever happens to be wandering around deep space outside of light speed could come pick us up? Do you know how far we are from the nearest system?”

“It’s not that unlikely, not if someone is looking for us.”

“And who exactly do you hope will find us? If you’re counting on your little band of traitors to come rescue us, you might as well realize there’s only one way that scenario ends for me.”

Rey frowned at the panel. This section had already shorted out. The possibility of salvaging working parts was seeming less and less likely. 

“There is, of course, the possibility that the crew of the Finalizer was able to calculate our trajectory. What will you do if we are rescued by the First Order?”

“I thought you said you wanted to help.”

“I am helping. What will you do Rey? Will you go out fighting? Come peacefully as a prisoner? Join me as an ally?”

Rey huffed. The tools she had found were not designed for such delicate work.

Kylo cocked his head. “I hope you struggle. After all this, I’d love to see you in chains.”

“Shut up, sleemo.”

“On your knees, maybe,” he mused, “hands in binders behind your back. Imagine how  _ cooperative _ you might be then.”

A wrench came flying at his head. Kylo merely chuckled.  

The delicate pieces Rey was attempting to extract sparked and shorted out, burning her hands and dashing any hopes she had of repairing the ship. She stepped away from the electrical surge and froze, staring at the ruined circuits.

“Is that-” Kylo began.

“Shut up!” Rey whirled around to face him. Fists clenched, she struck his chest. “Why won’t you ever shut up?” She hit him again, raining down blow upon blow and he took them without resistance. She poured her anger, her frustration and her hopelessness into every punch and lost herself in the fear and rage. Kylo took all of it, silently, and it made her pause for a moment, ashamed of her temper.

Ren grabbed her forearms. “Don’t stop,” he growled. She lost control again and beat against his chest until she spent the last of her rage and fell to her knees, exhausted. He collapsed with her, their chest heaving in unison.

“We’re going to die here,” she whispered.

“Probably.”

Rey cried then, unable to feel any more shame at showing weakness, not even when Kylo wrapped his arms around her.

She didn’t know why she did it. It just seemed natural. As her weeping stilled and she felt her cheek pressed to his bare chest, she gently pressed her lips to his collarbone. He stiffened beneath her touch. When he looked down at her, his eyes were dark, his pupils blown wide. Rey felt frozen. A voice in her head screamed at her to run away but she felt stuck in place as if gravity itself pulled her to him. 

Ren took the opportunity to grab her hips and pull her closer, but he lingered, unable or unwilling to close the gap between their lips. 

Rey shook, terrified at the thought that  _ she wanted this _ . It felt like the urge that could creep in when staring into a deep abyss to jump off the edge. It’s dangerous. It could kill you. She wanted it.

The kiss was fierce and punishing, as if she was angry at herself for giving in. Ren was a man in a desert, drinking in every bit of touch she would allow. She dragged her teeth across his lips and he groaned, gripping her tighter.

Rey’s eyes flew open and she pulled back with a gasp. Her hand flew to her mouth as she took in the sight of Ren, swollen-lipped and panting.

“Rey?” The way he said her name was soft, intimate, and it stirred something in her.

She scrambled to her feet and fled, slamming the ‘fresher door behind her.

Her whole body was shaking as she gripped the edges of the sink. What had just happened? What had she done? The isolation was wearing down her sanity. Maybe there was a gas leak. Maybe she hadn’t been eating enough lately.

No matter how much she tried to rationalize what had happened, there was no denying that she wanted it. Not just it.  _ Him _ .

Him, of all people. Kylo Ren, Dark Lord, Jedi killer.

She turned on the water and brushed her teeth viciously, trying desperately to wipe away the memory of his lips on hers.

Why him?

Maybe it was the bond. Maybe it was this connection that had formed on that terrible day on Starkiller, the one thing they both refused to talk about. Wherever she was in all the galaxy, she felt him, his fears, his wants, his desires. It was part of her life now, something she barely noticed. This pull to him was not new. It had been growing, slowly but surely, and now it threatened to overtake her.

Part of her never wanted to see him again. A much bigger part still wanted to kiss him. No, worse, to devour him. Her mind filled with images of explicit  _ things _ that she very much wanted to do to him.

 

Rey fell to the floor and clutched her head.  _ This  _ **_cannot_ ** _ happen. The kiss was a moment of weakness, nothing more. It will not happen again.  _


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kind comments! Hope you enjoy the next chapter.

  **Night 15:**

 

That night, the hopelessness of their situation haunted Rey as she slept. She had always been a survivor, always  fighting, always striving, but here there was nothing left to do except wait for the unlikely chance that they would be rescued. The very real possibility of a slow death by starvation weighed heavy on her mind, and the accompanying days of emptiness and futility filled her with panic.

She must have cried out in her sleep because Rey woke with a start to the sound of Kylo calling her name.

“Rey, come here.” There was a desperation to his voice that conveyed so much more than the words he spoke. _Let me hold you,_ it said. _Let me wipe away your tears and hold you tight until the fear fades. We are all each other has right now. Let me._

Still shaking, Rey rolled over and pretended to sleep.

 

They both lay awake in the darkness until morning.

 

**Day 16:**

 

Rey set about her established routine. She was determined to pretend that _the incident_ yesterday afternoon had never occurred and desperately hoped Ren would get the hint. He was silent, watching her, and at first she was grateful that he didn’t seem eager to bring up the kiss, to taunt her about her loss of control.

After a while, his silence was too much. There was too much knowledge in his eyes. He knew what her lips felt like. He knew the feel of her skin, the curve of her waist. He knew the look of desire in her eyes.

“Shut up.” She snapped.

“I didn’t say anything.” His voice was calm.

There was another attempt at awkward silence for a few moments before Rey exploded. “It was a mistake. It must have been the link we have.”

“The bond?”

“Yes, you must have pushed your twisted feelings through and influenced me.”

Kylo sighed. “We don’t need to talk about that.”

 

Rey was caught off guard.

 

He lifted his manacled wrists. “Don’t you think it’s time?” 

Rey hesitated. 

“Still? At this point, how could you possibly be afraid of what I might do to you?” 

“I’m not.” Rey bit her lip. _I’m afraid of what I might do to you_ , she thought to herself. 

“Because I can assure you, I won’t touch you. Unless of course, you want me to. Once you start begging, I’ll do whatever you want,” he  said smoothly.

“Ok, shut up already,” she grumbled. With a wave of her hand, the binders and chain fell to the ground.

 

He stood up and took a few steps forward, swaying on his feet. Rey instinctively reached out a hand to steady him.

He was weak, Rey realized. Of course he was. She had kept him chained to a wall for two weeks. She stifled a small pang of guilt.  “I think you should sit down.”

 “Later. Help me into the ‘fresher. Your sponge baths were endearing, but ultimately lacking in efficiency.”

She helped him into the small room. His arms got stuck as he pulled his shirt over his head and Rey tugged it loose.

“I’ve been free for less than five minutes and already you’re taking my clothes off?” He sighed as he took in his emaciated form in the mirror. “Kriff, how did this happen?”

“You’ve made a lot of bad choices.”

He looked down on her and grinned. “I can make a few more.”

 

Rey ignored him and went to stand by the door.

 

He cocked an eyebrow as he undid his pants. “Do you want to watch?”

Rey rolled her eyes. “I just want to make sure you don’t fall and crack your head open.” 

Kylo stumbled slightly, and Rey rushed forward. He used the momentum to back her against the wall, and steadied himself with his hands on either side of her head. Their eyes locked. He was close, tantalizingly close, yet someone how managing not to actually touch her. Something in her wanted to correct the oversight.

 

“Join me,” he breathed. “We should save water.”

 

His voice went straight to her core when it was soft and deep and gentle like that. Rey broke the spell, ducking out of his reach and doing her best not to stare at his bare chest. “The water reclamation system works just fine. I’ll be outside.” She stepped out the door and closed it halfway.

She could hear Kylo undressing and stepping into the shower. He moaned as the hot water washed over him. Rey’s cheeks reddened. She imagined other ways of eliciting that same sound, of shoving him against the wall, kneeling in front of him and taking him in her mouth while he gripped her hair and threw his head back, gasping...

 

No. Nope. Bad idea.

 

She shoved her palms into her eyes.

What would happen if they were rescued by the Resistance? How would she explain the naked dark Force user in her shower? She could just imagine trying to explain herself to General Organa: _I technically did capture the evil Dark Lord but living for weeks in the same room somewhat blurred those lines. Everything is cool though, he only kissed me once. No big deal. I’m not going to sleep with him. Definitely not._

 It had been quiet for a while. She should make sure he hadn’t fallen over and died right? It would only be ethical to care for her prisoner.

Rey took a small peek around the door and gasped. The water trickled over his firm body, down his abs, lower. . .

She slammed the door and groaned. What had she gotten herself into? What would the next few days bring? Would she lose all control and end up in bed with him before dinner?

 

**Three hours later:**

“Do you know what Order means? It means basic human rights!” Kylo gestured wildly.

 

The shuttle was not very large and their shouts echoed ominously in the tight space.

 

“It means kriffing genocide!” Rey screamed back.

“Think of your life on Jakku. How many people did you know who died of easily curable illnesses? How many did you see starve to death? How many younglings went to bed hungry, without adequate shelter? That’s what your precious Republic gets you.There are resources on that system, they just remain in the hands of the corrupt. Did you know you had representation in the Republic Senate? His name is Bentu Konteen, and instead of establishing moisture farms on Jakku’s surface, he just bought another yacht for his fourth favorite mistress!”

“And you think the First Order can fix everything?”

“They’re not perfect but at least they want to ensure adequate food, shelter and healthcare!”

“Aren’t you forgetting the mass murder? Where were the basic human rights for the Hosnian system?”

  
“That was a line of extremists, who’ve been behind a desk too long and see the galaxy as a compilation of statistics. They had no idea the horrible hole in the Force they would create.”

  
“But you didn’t do much to stop it did you?” She pointed her finger at him accusingly.

What was I supposed to do?” he screamed, “Blow the kriffing thing up myself?! I passed on what I could!”

“You--” Rey paused, “what?”

“How do you think the Resistance obtained the specifications? They were supposed to disable it, not kill everyone on board.”

“It was a super weapon!”

“It was filled with civilians! Officer’s husbands and wives, their children. How could we expect the staff to run a planet sized workstation without housing their families? There were younglings, at school, playing, throwing snowballs when your Resistance decided to kill them in the name of the greater good.”

“The entire Hosnian system---”

“I hate that I couldn’t stop it!” Ren interrupted. He furiously blinked back tears. “I stood there and watched entirely kriffing _helpless_ as countless lives were extinguished. I felt them all. Every last one. I heard their screams.”

There was silence for a moment, then Rey whispered. “Me too.”

They both decided simultaneously that they had enough conversation for the day.

 

\---------------

 

Kylo went to bed early. He had intended to be on his best behavior to quell Rey’s anxieties about letting him loose, but had somehow managed to invite her into the shower and get into a screaming match. Definitely not the way he wanted his first day of freedom to go. He would have to be more gentle with her, less intrusive.

The bed was something he was not willing to compromise on. There was nothing in the galaxy that would prevent him from sleeping in an actual bed after two weeks of sleeping on the floor. He groaned as he stretched out and noticed Rey visibly stiffen. He stayed at the farthest edge of the mattress, trying to look as non-threatening as possible.

 She stayed up, obviously stalling while she reorganized the portions until Ren drifted off to sleep.

He woke in the middle of the night to Rey’s whimpers. She was tossing and turning beside him, in the throes of another nightmare. Kylo hesitated for a moment, then reached out to rub her shoulder. She rolled straight into his chest and snuggled there, finally quieting.

He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair like he’d been aching to do for weeks. Why should he deny himself at this point? The likeliest scenario was their slow and untimely death, wasting away in this tomb-like shuttle. But what if they made it out? Could he ask her to stay? After all this, he couldn't imagine going back to the way things were. He knew by now that she didn’t hate him. What she felt for him was unclear, but it wasn’t hate. If he had to, could he send her back to the Resistance while he went back to the Order?

 

The very thought made his chest ache.

 

What if he kept her? His thoughts drifted lazily in his sleepy mind. He could chain her to a wall, peel her clothes off. He would tease her with light touches as she strained against the bonds until she begged him to. . .

 

He stopped his train of thought there.

 

He shifted his hips a little farther from Rey so the rapidly hardening bulge in his pants wouldn’t press up against her, but when he moved she snuggled closer in response.

 

 _Kriff_.

 

She sighed, reached up, wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her chest against his. She wasn’t wearing a breast band and the thin material of her shirt did little to cover the sensation of her hardened nipples pressing against him.

The tone of her dream had obviously changed.

Kylo froze, unsure what to do. He was more than willing to hold her through her nightmares, but this was something else. He considered waking her up, but decided she probably wouldn’t appreciate waking up to. . . _this_.

 

She whimpered and rubbed her thighs together.

 

Maybe Rey had been right. The neural collar kept him from sensing anything from her end, but maybe he was passing his feelings through the bond.

 

Or maybe she. . .

 

No. He was a monster. She was kind enough not to hate him for it at this point, but she would never. . . would she?

 

Rey ground her hips against his and he couldn’t help thrusting against her in response, aching for friction and release. He leapt out of bed and slammed the door to the ‘fresher.

It hurt how much he physically wanted her, how much she would never want him if she was awake. He took himself in hand, trying and failing to think of anything but her.

Finally, spent and exhausted, he fell back into bed, only to have her curl up against him.

 

This girl was going to be the death of him.

 

**Day 18:**

Rey spread the flimsies of the ship’s schematics across the table. She was sick of waiting to be rescued. If there was no way to repair the ship, then perhaps she could boost the distress signal somehow. She chewed her lip pensively as her eyes roamed over the designs.

Kylo came behind her, placing a hand on either side of her on the edge of the table and leaning down, practically resting his chin on her shoulder.

His presence was dizzying. “What are you doing?” she asked, trying unsuccessfully to be annoyed.

“Helping,” he murmured, pretending to study the flimsies. The deep richness of his voice made her knees weak. He gently slid his fingers into her palm, lifted her hand and moved it to a diagram on the far end of the table, effectively bending her forward with him.

“Maybe,” he said softly in her ear, “we can reroute the power from the secondary motivator.” He left her hand there, on the diagram of the motivator, and slid his knee between her legs as he lightly rested his hands against her hips. “Do you like the sound of that?”

 

“Yes,” she gasped, heat pooling in her abdomen.

 

“Good,” he said, stepping away abruptly. “I’ll get the ‘spanners.”

 

Rey was left gripping the edge of the table, frustrated, wet, and furious.


End file.
